You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
