i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You are the jesus of drinking
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
