Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
