So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I had to cum in my sink.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize