I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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