she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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