Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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