we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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