Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
