is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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