just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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