Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
where are my eyebrows?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
