Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
