Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
