and you said cock pushups were impossible
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
