why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
