dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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