Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
