Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
COCAINE IS GR8
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
