I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am naked and annoyed.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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