You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
