even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
