Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
