You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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