I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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