Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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