sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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