Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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