i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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