I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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