I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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