i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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