Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize