Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
