i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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