I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I forget how to act sober
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