Dual....:-)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
