Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
