My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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