yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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