Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well you can't waste a boner
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
