put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
No subtext here. People are naked.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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