Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
wow bdsm is so cute
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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