Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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