I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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