There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
