I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's blow job season.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
