I cannot find my penis.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
