You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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