Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
