My room smells like vodka and shame
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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