There was a lot of him and a little penis
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He felt like a one man threesome
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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