Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
