apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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