you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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