we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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