It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
