i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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