maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
