I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
