called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
