we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
