i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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