We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
