Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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