I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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