So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
