If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize