Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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