I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
