k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
